In the journey of life, we learn a lot of things. Some new, some good, some bad and we often try to understand and make the best of our learnings. Certain things in our society are defined as norms for people to live according to. These are called societal norms. We often tend to give in to the pressure of these norms and ruin the meaning of life and create false narratives in our heads to fit well with these norms.
In this blog, I'm going to be talking about 15 such truths that we often learn in our 20s once we decide to no longer act as per societal norms.
You can also check out the audio version below.
Start taking good care of yourself now
When I say take care of yourself, I mean to start taking care of your health and mental well-being. Most of us are in our late 20s and it's never too late to start taking care of ourselves.
Youth and good health are two things that once gone will never come back to us. It is our biggest treasure, so why not enjoy and take good care of it, right.
Gone are those days where you could and would stay out partying and chilling with your friends without a second thought about the side effects all those long sleepless nights impact on your overall health and mental well-being. Start today, start prioritizing your health and peace of mind.
Dreams require sacrifice
All of us have seen those unrealistic movies where the heroes become rich and successful in a song. I would be lying if I told you that I have never wished for that to happen to me in my life. I feel like all of us are guilty of this.
All our dreams and aspirations require a lot of sacrifices to become reality. It can be sacrificing your sleep, watching an unwanted amount of tv shows and movies, and can also be canceling plans with friends when you need to focus on your future, your dreams, and your aspirations.
It is only you who can dream for yourself and make those dreams come true.
Stop caring about what people think
It’s high time we all live our lives as per our dreams and wishes and stop caring about what others have to say about our life choices and be all judgemental about it.
Giving too much importance to others’ opinions will cause a lot of tension between you and your mind and you will lose your peace of mind for sure. Only you get to choose your life and do what makes you happy.
Does having a great meal even though it’s expensive makes you feel good, then do it. Does buying stuff you like makes you happy? do it. Do not let others control your life and give importance to their version of your life and what you should be doing in life. You’ll never be happy and satisfied.
Stop comparing yourself with your friends and peers and live your own life and follow the norms you set up for yourself and the ones that work for you.
Embrace failure
Failure is the stepping stone of success. How many times have we all heard this? I mean we hear this quote on a daily basis but have never given it some serious thought.
You have to try different things to be successful in life. You have to keep trying till you find something that sparks your interest and not be too worried about the results.
Oftentimes, in the fear of failure, many of us don’t even bother to try out things we love doing. We often don’t take the career paths we love in the fear of failure and choose something beneath us and settle for less.
The only way to succeed in life is to embrace your failures and learn from your mistakes and be better and do better than you did the previous day. Life is one step at a time game. You have to choose your path to success despite your fear of failure. And never give up on your dreams. Try try try till you succeed.
Start saving money and master money
Our schools and colleges fail to teach us the most important aspect of adult life. Financial management and financial knowledge are major chunks in adult life.
Learn to plan and manage your finances, try and stop living paycheck to paycheck. Start saving money and get your life together. This is one skill no one is ever going to teach you, you need to learn for yourself and adapt your learnings to suit your lifestyle.
Master money, don't let it master and control your life.
You and your friends will change
I mean how many times have you heard a few old friends telling you that you have changed. How many times have you told the same things to your friends? Change is inevitable. That's the only constant in life.
Each one of us is evolving as human beings every single day. This is one of the major reasons why our circles keep getting smaller over time, negative influences from friends become clearer, you will understand who's a good influence on you and have only real friends who contribute to your growth and vice-versa. Only these kinds of friends remain in the end and you realize who your true friends are.
Debt is your worst enemy
Money doesn’t buy you happiness is one thing we keep hearing very often. But money does help to pay for the stuff you love and enjoy doing. It can help you lead a comfortable and fun lifestyle.
Being money smart is a great skill one should learn and develop over time. You shouldn’t have to live your life, paycheck to paycheck with no peace of mind and always worrying about how to pay for things and whether or not you can afford the things you wish for.
In order to keep up with the societal pressure of owning things and trying to keep your status up in society, you tend to buy a lot of things like houses, cars, and expensive shit you cant afford. This will lead to financial suicide and a lot of financial burden on your mind and your families.
Living below your means and living frugally and saving up for your future is the new cool. Learn to save and invest and make your money work for you and not the opposite. It’s never too late to start.
Don’t fall into the trap of owning materialistic things while you’re broke just to keep up with your friends and peers. Do not compare yourself to others and want all the things that others have even though you cannot afford them and fall into the spiral of debt.
There’s good debt and bad debt, educate yourself about the difference between the two and choose to make good financial decisions.
Reading is very important
I didn't start reading until I was in my mid-20s and there isn't a day that goes by without me regretting why I didn't develop the habit of reading early on in life.
I think reading helps us gain a lot of knowledge, most books are an accumulation of all the knowledge the author has gained over his or her lifetime and from a lot of research and experience.
Reading one book would impart years' worth of knowledge and learnings that can help us lead a better life. Make it a habit to read for at least 15-20mins a day. This will improve your knowledge, your hold on things and provides new perspectives, and develops a unique thought process specific to each individual.
You can start your reading journey with self-help books, personality development books, and trust me when I say this, schools aren't teaching any of this right now.
Some things don’t work out for a reason
There are a few things in life that no matter how hard you try to achieve, always end up not working out for you. This might sound very cliche but most things don't work out for a reason.
You might not be ready for a few things that you thought you were ready for and that might be the reason it didn't work out.
I'm talking about the career opportunities you didn't get or didn't take up, the relationships that didn't work out, the friendships that didn't last, and many more.
All of us are evolving every single day. Each and every aspect of our life is carefully designed by our subconscious mind and this is the main reason few things don't work out and that's for our good. Do not regret or dread in sorrow over the things that didn't work out and be grateful for the ones that did work out and live your life in the best possible way.
Time is your most precious resource
Time is a very limited resource that we all have. Every single minute you choose to spend on social media, binge-watching, and other activities is a minute that could have been invested in improving yourself by learning new skills, invested in spending quality time with family and friends, invested in being a better human being.
Youth and time are something that never comes back once they're gone. So use your time as a precious commodity and own your time.
Gone are those days where working till you're 60 years old was the norm, plan to retire early, spend your time doing what you love, spend it with loved ones, and make loads of memories. Never take your time for granted.
Everything takes time
We often get agitated when things don't go our way or work in our favor. The world is not here to please you and make you feel better. You have to put in the effort, time, interest, and hard work for anything to work out, and most of all, all good things take time.
No matter how much you force things to happen your way, things will only work out when it's time for you to benefit from it.
Stop hating yourself and having negative self-talk inside your head when things don't work out instantly. Be patient and wait.
Everything will eventually work out in the best way possible to suit you and your life. Don't become restless and go into panic mode and ruin things for yourself
You define and determine your own success
Success is very subjective. For a few having a loving family is a success, for a few being a millionaire by 30 is a success. Each one of us has our own definitions of success and that's how it should be.
Don't give in to the societal norms of what success should look like and try to achieve that to the dot. You will have to define your own path to success and what success actually means to you.
Success can be about being financially independent by a certain age or having a certain number of projects happening under you, it differs depending on your interests and your skill sets.
Do not get disheartened looking at those overnight success stories online and lose focus on your goals and dreams, only when you follow your dreams and achieve your own goals, will you feel a sense of success in life. Define success for yourself and be free from the constant pressure from society to be more and do more.
Love and family are what really matters
This is a no-brainer. What's the point of having all the money and success in the world when you have no one to share it with. We all are busy creating successful lives and successful careers for ourselves, between which we often overlook our families and friends and get too busy to spend time with them and take them for granted. You need people in life.
You need families, you need friends, you need a community for yourself to cherish life and enjoy the quirks of life. Human beings are social animals, right. Learn to prioritize people around you and spend some time with them, get to know them, make memories with them, and do not take any human relationship for granted.
The most important investment is, your health
We often skip taking good care of our health and assume we're healthy without even understanding the meaning of being healthy.
We are constantly surrounded by crazy amounts of stress that take a toll on both our mental and physical health and we often ignore this.
Taking good care of your health and wellbeing is very important. Learn to prioritize your health and eat healthily, ditch the unhealthy lifestyles, where you're constantly working or worrying about work, eating junk food to cope with stress, forgetting to drink a good amount of water every day, skipping meals, no form of physical activity, hours and hours of screen time and binge-watching tv shows. All these are slow killers that ruin your perfectly good health.
Plan a healthy meal, take breaks between work hours, introduce a small workout break into your daily schedule, organize things to feel less stressed and less burdened to get through the day. Do not take your health for granted, once it's ruined you will never be able to get back to normal and be healthy again.
It is hard to settle down
Despite what they show on tv and in magazines, it is very hard to settle down by a certain age in our society today. The world is constantly evolving and putting pressure on one human being to have it all figured out by a certain age and make all life decisions at once is a huge burden both mentally and physically.
It's okay to feel lost and feel like you're doing nothing in life. This too is a phase of life where you find the true meaning and purpose of your life.
Instead of dreading the question, "Are you settled in life?" Enjoy the process and your journey in life. Life is not to be filled with a bunch of to-do lists. It's supposed to be enjoyed and shared with your loved ones.
These are 15 hard truths we learn slowly in our 20s. Thank you for taking out time to read my blog.
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Thank you for taking out time to read our blog as part of Stensor- The Mind Chapter. Do remember this is coming from our experiences only. This is purely from our journey towards mental health and wellbeing. We are Architects by profession, with a design initiative part of Stensor-The Design Chapter, where we help our audience/clients design beautiful living spaces to enhance their lifestyle. If you’re looking to revamp your spaces, feel free to reach out to us via email at contact@stensor.in or Click Here to know more.
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