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15 ways to be a better friend

Madhurya
Sep 15, 2021
7 min read

Updated: Sep 17, 2021

Our generation is stuck in the tech boom where making friends online has become a key part of our life. A ton of us still have trouble making friends due to our extroverted or introverted nature. If making friends is one trouble for all of us, in a fast-paced lifestyle that all of us lead, maintaining those friendships and relationships becomes an even bigger task.

You can also check-out the audio version below.

Below are 15 ways to be a better friend and have cherishable friendships.

Learn to listen

We all love attention. All of us are self-centered, where we are the main focus in our life. When it comes to maintaining friendships, learning the art of listening becomes very important. Each and everyone has the need to be heard. So the next time your friend walks in with a topic for discussion, always listen to understand and not just respond.

Be patient

This is the first thing our parents teach us. Patience is a very important behavior. Always be patient with your friends when they are under stress, or when they’re eager to share something with you. We all tend to snap at our friends because of the lenience we have with them, but instead, try developing patience. Be patient in listening, be patient in responding, be patient and treat the other person as you would want to be treated if you were in their position.

Do not judge

I mean, this is a no-brainer. The world is going to judge you anyway for the kind of weirdos you and your friends are, why don’t you do them a favor and leave the judgments to the world. Always try to be less judgemental about your friends and the kind of decisions they make. It can be as simple as judging them for the kind of clothes they have, judging their behavior, and so on. Everyone in the world is not here to live by your rules and your ways right. Leave them be, love them for what they are, and how they are.

Trustworthiness

Maintaining trust is a two-way street in any relationship. If you want someone to trust you, they should feel you’re worthy of their trust. In order for them to feel that way, it’s your job to not judge them, and be there by their side, trust them, and support them and always listen and give them a voice. And eventually, build their confidence.

Empathy over Sympathy

Always prioritize empathy over sympathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Sympathy is the feeling of pity or sorrow for someone else. Both empathy and sympathy sound similar but are totally different from one another. Whenever your friend is trying to share something with you, try to understand their problem and accept that it is an issue for them, but never try to make that situation about you. None of us can really put ourselves in each other’s shoes to understand any situation. All we can do is hear them and be there for them, provide solutions as per your knowledge. If you don’t have any solutions for your friend’s problems, just be there for them and hear them out. This does wonders all the time.

Find common ground/habits/things to do together

Having things to do together can help to strengthen the bond between friends. Sharing a common learning interest, or common profession gives you a lot of areas to explore both your interests and get to know each other well, and build strong and everlasting friendships.

Never say “I told you so” even when you’re dying to say it

This is the worse thing a friend could do. Whenever something goes wrong and you’ve already warned your friend about it, you tend to rub it in their face, just so you could feel, you were right. Please try and avoid doing that. That’s the worst way to build relationships. No matter how much you warn a friend, it is up to them to make their own choices and come to conclusions. When things backfire, it’s your job to be there for your friend and tell them it’s okay. Things will work out. Never try to rub it. It might give you a minute’s grin on the face but will deeply affect your friendships.

Give them space

All of us need space to be with ourselves. To wind down and get back to our roots and just be alone. Whenever your friend is upset or down and just wants to be alone. Give them space, do not go and pester them asking them what’s wrong. Instead, give them some space to be with their thoughts and understand what’s going on with themselves and let them come to you once they’re okay with sharing about what’s been bothering them. We all need space from time to time.

Prioritize your friends

We all have busy schedules where you have each day, each hour planned out to be catered to specific tasks and activities. Even if you can’t meet your friends on a daily basis, make time for them, make plans to meet them once in a while, just to keep in touch with each other and understand what’s been going on in each other’s lives. Always waiting for the other person to make plans, is not a healthy approach to any relationship. Be okay with taking the first step. Also when you make plans, learn to prioritize, we all can put work on hold, the world is not going to end in a day.

Let them be free

Never restrict your friends to having only you as their friend. This is very unhealthy and will lead to the other person feeling suffocated and breaking the friendship altogether. We are all social beings and we don’t own anyone’s life and time. Learn to understand that and let your friend be free.

Be loyal and honest with them

Even when it gets tough and you have to speak the truth despite what your friend would think, always be honest, even if the truth is going to hurt your friend. SHort term hurt is better than long-term betrayal.

Be low maintenance

We all have tons of responsibilities that come with adult life. All of us are busy with our own lives. In this busy schedule let’s make sure we’re not burdening our friends with the added responsibility of always checking in on us, or being petty, and being angry when your friends do not call you and update you on every single detail of their life. Live and let them be. Always try not to make your friends feel obligated to respond to you, respond to each and every one of your invite to hang out and chill, instead understand and consider that each of us has our own lives to deal with and give them space and a little bit of a benefit of the doubt. Also know that sometimes a little distance in friendships only makes the bond stronger.

Be willing to challenge each other

We live in a world filled with jealously and negative thoughts. In such a world, we can only depend on true friends to grow and flourish in life. Always be open-minded and willing to challenge each other to grow positively and support each other when trying out new things. It can be as simple as being nice to an old friend who’s been distant and mean to you guys. You can challenge each other to grow mentally, personally, and professionally.

Be open-minded and approachable

Friendships flourish when there is no judgment between friends when your friend trusts you enough to open up about the weirdest of things. After all, it’s our friends that we are our true selves with. When that’s the case., let’s create a positive atmosphere for each other to put our thoughts out in the universe and learn and grow together. Be open-minded and always be approachable to your friends. What’s the point of having friends if your friends are scared to share something with you with the fear of not being accepted. We all crave acceptance from each other from time to time. Give your friends a true sense of belonging as you would want from them. Finding a true sense of belonging and sharing a unique bond is what friends are meant for.

Don’t let your own stuff get in the way

We tend to focus on our woes and sorrows a lot. We are our center of attention and that’s true. But in order to have fulfilling friendships, give space to your friends and listen to them. All of us are going through some sort of difficulties every day, but whenever a friend reaches out to you, to share something, give them your undivided attention, the same as what you would want when you’re in the same situation. This gives them a sense of validation and they will feel heard. Sometimes all your friend needs would just be someone to listen to them. No matter what’s been bothering you, when a friend shows up and want to talk, or something is bothering them, have a good chat and make them feel better. If you see, Sometimes these small talks would avoid so many unwanted negative thoughts.

Hope these help you in being a better friend and also expect the same from your friends. That's how we build strong relations and friendships. Much love.

Thank you for taking out time to read our blog as part of Stensor- The Mind Chapter. Do remember this is coming from our experiences only. This is purely from our journey towards mental health and wellbeing. We are Architects by profession, with a design initiative part of Stensor-The Design Chapter, where we help our audience/clients design beautiful living spaces to enhance their lifestyle. If you’re looking to revamp your spaces, feel free to reach out to us via email at contact@stensor.in or Click Here to know more.